DA BEST HETALIA FANFIC EVAR!
by Unaltered
Summary: OMG THIS IS TOTALLY THE BEST HETALIA FANFIC EVAR omg so creative so original it has a LOVE STORY and RUSSIA IS THE BAD GUY GASP and A LOVE TRIANGLE OMG!11!1ONE! (It's a troll of some very bad Hetalia fanfictions I've read in my lifetime, because we've all been there, read that.)
1. Chapter 1

OMG I love hetalia! so omg it would be soooooo cool if I could be in the heta-WHUPPSIE DAISY OMG LOOK IM IN THE HETALIA WORLD YAAAAAS!

Hmmm I wonder why Im here omg is that a british dude with big eyebrows I MUST BE IN THE HETALIA WORLD FOR DEFS SURE YO

"OMG IGGY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" I shout and tackle him to the ground bcuz UM OBVS WE GON BE BESTIES YA!

"Omg I love you too either know we have just met and I am not going to question how you know me," Iggy flirted with me YES IT WAS FLIRTING AND YOU KNOW IT BE JEALOUS YA'LL!

He was tall but not too tall and blond hair and sexy eyebrows and green eyes like emeralds like a shining forest like seriously goddamn nothing is brighter green than DAT BOI

BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN WE RAN INTO THE BAD TOUCH TRIO OMG!

"kesesese pervert!" Prussia shouted HE WAS SO AWESOME! "Hey random new girl you are awesome too more awesomer than I!"

OMG PRUSSIA CALLED ME AWESOME SUCK IT LOSERS!

"fusososososo ROMANO ROMANO ROMANO" spain yelled and WOOF magically an angry italian appeared!

"Oi you fucking bitch bastard twat shithead" romano shouted angrily and OH MY GOD I KNEW WE WAS GONNA BE BFFSY'S

"Ohonhonhon rape!" France shouted and OMG TRIED TO FEEL ME UP BECAUSE UM DAYUM I KNOW IM GOOD LOOKIN' BUT SRSLY WTF? OMG NO!

"I SHALL SAVE YOU! Fucking back away you bloody twat of a frog!" England TOTALLY CAME TO MY RESCUE YUS I KNEW HE LUVED ME!

Then England TOOK ME AWAY TO HIS PLACE and oh yeah i could totally see Canada AND his magical friends because YUS im soooo awesome even PRUSSIA said it!

Then England was liek SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO shocked when he found out I could see his friends he was like "omg you see them too?!"

And I said yeah and he said yeah and then we said yeah and then AMERICA BECAME THE HERO AND THEY WERE TOTALLY IN A LOVE TRIANGLE FOR ME!

BUT THEN EITHER KNOW IGGY DOESNT KNOW A THING ABOUT ME LIEK WE ENDED UP GETTING MARRIED!

And we had a DAUGHTER that was my OWN OC bc there wasnt already enough mary sueness and clicheness in here!

OMG RUSSIA IS THE BAD GUY GASP CLIFFHANGER


	2. Chapter 2

OMG recap: RUSSIA IS DA BAD GUY BC HE IS SO EVIL DUH LIKE HE IS UNTRUSTWORTHY BC HES _RUSSIAN_

(A/N: omg lol thats a joke how did russia get there so fast bc he was RUSSIAN hahaha get it)

"Ong liek doood gimme ur daughter," Russia demanded in his BABY CHILD VOICE OMG I WOULD FEEL BAD FOR HIM IF HE WASNT *Mermaid Man voice* EVILLLLLLLLL

But OMG SINCE I AM SUDDENLY BADASS LIKE I TOTES FIGHT RUSSIA AND HE ALMOST BOWS TO MY ALMIGHTY POWER BEFORE HITTING ME WITH BIG METAL PIPE OUCH

(A/N: omg that would hurt so much)

Then ENGLAND WHO WAS JUST STANDING THERE WHILE I DID ALL THE WORK BUT NOW HE MIRACULOUSLY USES HIS SKILLS TO SOMEHOW BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF RUSSIA OMG IGGY YOU SO STRONG!

MY DAUGHTER WHO IS STILL A BABY EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN SIX MONTHS AND OMG SHE SOMEHOW REPRESENTS THIS ONE STATE IN AMERICA (A/N: my state leeeel) DESPITE IGGY BEING BRITISH AND BY NATION STANDARDS SHE SHOULD AT LEAST BE TWO YEARS OLD BY NOW IS CRYING OMG MY BABEH I WILL SAYVE U!

But GASP france is totes a bad guy too I knEW HE WAS A BAD GUY SINCE HE DIDNT SHOW UP TO IGGY AND ME'S WEDDING

HE STOLE MY BABEH! AND EITHER KNOW I WAS POWERFUL BEFORE IM SUDDENLY WEAK AGAIN BECAUSE THE PLOT DEMANDS THAT FRANCE STEAL MAH BABEH!

Then russia SOMEHOW disappears and omg America comes in and he refuses to acknowledge the fact that England is crying which he only does around ME dats right bitches only I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF SEEING THE ALMIGHTY NATION CRY

Then America is sooooooo stupid and he absolutely REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT ENGLAND IS SILENTLY SHAKING RIGHT HERE SOBBING ABOUT OUR AMERICAN DAUGHTER

Waaaaiittt shouldnt i have had my american daughter with america?

WAIT ARENT I LIKE A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL IN DIS STORY?!

But looool lets forget that i wonder why i never get my period i muST BE MAGIC

OMG CLIFFHANGER AGAIN!

(or is it? yall never guess what happens like eVAR)

AUTHORS NOTE

Omg I cant believe people hated on me in last chapter wah! UR ALL JUST SO JEALOUS THAT IF WE WERE GOING IN THE HETALIA WORLD IGGY WOULD TOTES MARRY ME!

Yall dont know good writing

-probably a username like iggyismysenpai


	3. Chapter 3

Recap: OMG THE BAD GUYS STOLE MY BABY

Soooo like we're still sitting here and iggy is still crying tears for only ME to see bc thats how the world is liek trust me only I am allowed to see the scared english tears

and FINALLY america stops being dummy and he starts realizing dat IGGY IS SAD

SO HE PUTS DOWN HIS HAMBURGER AND SAYS

"lol iggy why da frick u cryin"

"omg ur such an idiot sob sob sob" iggy cried and i COMFORTED HIM BC THATS WHAT A LOVING FIFTEEN YEAR OLD WIFE DOES GET WITH DA PROGRAM PEOPLE

oh btw i lieeek CREEPYPASTA TOO SO YA SUDDENLY THE CREEPYPASTAS ARE IN THIS WORLD BC WHY NOOOT

im totally in lurv with a PSYCHOTIC CREEPY KILLING MACHINE and oohhhh hes making iggy sooooo jealous and its aanoTHER LURV TRIANGLE

(A/N: OMG I FIGURED OUT WHY ITS A LOVE TRIANGLE because like two people like one person and dats three and a triANGLE HAS THREE SIDES :DDDD)

OH BTW WE TOTALLY FORGET ABOUT MY DAUGHTER FOR DA TIEM BEING BC WE LIEK HAVE MOAR IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO

Oh BTW Prussia apologizes for being an a-hole earlier and liikkke calls me awesome because omg i am literally so awesome prussia said so and OMG LOOK ITS CHINA

"Aru I aru think aru we aru should aru have aru a meeting aru and aru you aru should aru be aru invited aru EITHER KNOW YOU AINT A COUNTRY"

then OMG I MET ALL THESE NATIONS AND THEY ALL SAID HOW BOOTIFUL I WAS EVEN SWEDEN EITHER KNOW HE IS A HOMO!

"y' l'k v'ry b't'f'l m'l'dy 'nd ' w'ld l'k' y'r 't'gr'ph," He then HANDED ME SOME RANDOM SWEDISH POP GROUP THINGY, "Th'nks f'r th' m'm'r's."

OMG I GAVE EEVRYONE AN AUTOGRAPH AND TOTES FOROGT ABOUT MY FUCKING MISSING DAUGHTER!

(oh yeah btw harry potter is here bc i like harry potter screw u haterz)

THEN WE HAD A MEETING WHERE GERMANY SHOUTED AT US LEL BUT HARRY CAST A SPELL ON HIM TO MAKE HIM SHUT UP

oh btw im a wizard now HAHAHAHA YES

OOPS ANODER CLIFFHANGER

* * *

 **this is a horrible story but basically i have it finished on another website and i totally forgot it was on this one**

 **oops**

 **its not like anybody reads this anymore anyways**

 **this is completely self indulgent**


	4. Chapter 4

RECAP: a meeting lel everyone loved me

SUDDENLY A SMUT SCENE

and now the smut scene has passed

omg lol i need holy water

OH BTW HARRY POTTER AND DA CREEPYPASTAS ARE STILL HERE

And then RUSSIA IS HERE WITH MY BABY AND HE HAS A RANSOM FOR IT GASP

and i FOUGHT FOR MY BABY BACK

With da help of EVERYBODY

jaaa so russia is defeated but GASP HES ACTUALLY A LONELY MISUNDERSTOOD BABY SO BESIDES THE FACT THAT HE KICKED ME AND IGGY'S ASS AND KIDNAPPED OUR DAUGHTER WE FEEL BAD FOR HIM BECAUSE HES MISUNDERSTOOOOOD

we still hate france tho bc he tried to feel me up that one time so i cursed him with my MAGIC WAND POWERS and i turned him into a FROG HAHAHA GEDDIT?

but we loved russia and he is suddenly my daughters godfather and btw russia is totes gay for chine and since im suddenly a miracle worker and a matchmaker i pair him up with china loool

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER

WE HAVE FOUR GIRLS BC MALE OCS ARE SO TOO ORIGINAL FOR ME! Also all these daughters have one personality trait each! And these traits are: EMO, HAPPY, SMART, AND THEN THAT ONE CUTE LIL BABY WITH THE ADORABLE LISP

"Wow I am so sad and depressed" my emo daughter says but since im her mom only i can make her smile

"OMG IM SO HAPPY ALL THE TIME!" says my happy daughter

"I am smart blah blah blah multiplication blah" says my smart daughter, pushing her glasses up her nose. omg neeeerd

"i am uthleth," says my daughter with da lisp

aw aint she cute

Oh BTW im suddenly depressed and there is a FEELSY scene where ENGLAND admits he was depressed TOO OMG ITS SO ROMANTIC BEING DEPRESSED IS SO COOL BTW IM LIEK DEPRESSED IN REAL LIFE SO FEEL SYMPATHY FOR ME YOU FUCK NUGGETS

but now we're not depressed agaiN!

OH WAIT I STILL AM LOL! I LIED TO IGGY! FOR NU RAISIN!

So I wrote a totes romantic goodbye note to iggy and my mary sue daughters who are EXACTLY like me in a way and ONE IS AN AMERICAN STATE (my state lel) AND ONE IS A CITY IN MY STATE THAT ISN'T EVEN THE CAPITAL OF THAT STATE (my city lel) ONE IS LONDON AND OMG ONE IS THAT ONE SPECIFIC NEIGHBORHOOD IN THAT CITY (mine lel)

So I cut myself and omg Im so sad I think im just going to die here goodbye iggy i love you

My eyes started closing but i opened them just in time to see those bright green eyes rushing me to a hospital

OMG IN THE HOSPITAL WHILE I WAS HEALING ENGLAND STARTED CRYING AGAIN AND PROCLAIMED HIS UNDYING LUV FOR ME

But i forgave him even though he was a terrible husband and i am his nineteen yr old wife

Oh btw we're forgetting about my cliche daughters again bc ONE LAST SMUT SCENE LEL

IGGY ROMANTICALLY MAKES OUT WITH MY SCARS BECAUSE DEPRESSION! IS! ROMANTIC!

THEN ITS THE END WITH US LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER

THE END...

...?


	5. Chapter 5

**~Note: Not the same girl as before~**

OMG! First fic! :D :D

I am a NORMAL FOURTEEN YR OLD GIRL WHO LIKES HETALIA! ^w^

This is my first fanfiction ever!

So pls leave an open mind! ^.^

LET THE HETAFICTION COMMENCE! :D

* * *

One day it was RAINING and then SHABALAKASHOOF Im in HETALIA WORLD! Im in an ACADEMY UNIFORM :)

"omg did u hear bout dis school," says a conveniently placed plot device girl with some big tiddies

im not gay tho

"yeah yeah the one where all the countries go 2," says another conveniently placed plot device used only for furthering the character's actions. her tiddies are not as big

"yeah they are all rly hot."

WELL I am a NORMAL FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL...So I lOVE HOT GUYS! I'll sneak into this academy just to fu-OH LOOK I ALREADY HAVE A UNIFORM! SO I ALREADY GO HERE! :D TIME TO MAKE SOME HOT GUY FRIENDZ! :D

so i went to this school!

(also pssst here are some hints that i may or may not have superpowers and come from an abusive home because this is also secretly a SUPERHERO FANFIC! and what says 'superhero' more than 'abusive home'?)

So YEAH I magically get in and pretend to be like a boy or whatever bc duh Hetalia girls SUCK and I reufse to be ackowledged as one of them so I conveniently get placed in THE DORM RIGHT ACROSS FROM MY FUTURE LOVE INTEREST!

But I share my dorm with Spain! :D :D :D He's such a pedo lol I hope he raeps the eff outta Romano! :D OTP!

but then i hear rumors...

"hey did u hear bout dat one kid"

"which one"

"da blond one"

"oh yeah dat one"

"ok so nobody ever notices him so hes lonely"

"wow really"

"also ps he's super hot"

WOW, a LONELY, HOT, UNNOTICED BLOND MAN? I wonder who THAT could-

Oh look it's a HOT BLOND MAN currently sitting ALONE at the table next to mine at lunch!

COULD THIS BE A COINCIDENCE?

READ NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT! :D


End file.
